But, a "best" friend relationship should go both ways, shouldn't it? It started when I had Xander and she did not come to the hospital because she didn't want to bother me. So I sat by myself most of the time because I had other children who needed Daddy. I was really hurt and upset by that but I got over.
Then I lost Zoe, hands down the worst year of my life. I needed support and love from everywhere, especially my "best" friend. So we have our March for Babies walk coming up in the next couple of weeks. She hasn't signed up to walk with me, so I asked her if she was going to walk.
She told me she didn't think so..........yes, she said probably not. She doesn't know if she has the time. She doesn't know if her husband will want to do it because he won't be able to run. I read this as, she isn't going to be there to support me. This may be wrong of me, this may be selfish of me to expect her there. But, I do. I expect her there. I think that is what friends are supposed to do for each other. I don't really care if her husband wants to or not, she should come on her own.
So, just venting I guess, I wish that she would be there, but I am sort of feeling now that I don't want her there. If she doesn't think it's important then maybe I don't need her.
I'm really sorry. I could have so written this post. I really could have. We are also doing the march, and well the only person to have not signed up yet is of course my best friend. I understand exactly what you are feeling.
ReplyDelete((HUGS)) See maybe this is why I do not have a best. Every person in my life is there for a reason. If it is because they need me, or I need them we fill the person with something they need and they fill me with something I need. Which is why I can't pick a best, because I love all my friends (the ones I am very close to) the same.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, loven the chart. ;p
~hugs~ Tracy. I understand what you are talking about, it's really why I (also) don't have someone who is a 'best' per se. There are those who are ones I try to ALWAYS be there for, but I know I fail more often then not, and I hate letting them down, and so I try to keep my own expectations low...which isn't right, but I found it hurts less in the end.
ReplyDeleteANYWAY. I think maybe in the walk, she may not know how, to feel? I'm not sure if she's had a loss, not that i'm making excuses for her (don't even know her) but maybe?
Maybe she is just in a different place in her life.
Vent away!
:( That would really hurt me too. Like you said, so what if her husband doesn't want to come...why can't she? Even if she has kids, they can come too. I'm sorry girl, that would be really hurtful in my book as well.
ReplyDeleteHUGS! That would really really hurt me as well. The only person that I can really say acts like a best friend is my sissy.
ReplyDelete((((hugs))) I would also be really hurt by that..
ReplyDelete