Selfish...maybe?

I go back and forth between feeling ok, feeling happy, feeling sad, feeling overwhelmingly sad. One feeling that never changes, no matter what, without fail, I want another baby.... It is a aching feeling that rages through my entire body. I hate that I am not pregnant anymore. I hate that my last chance may have been taken from me. I know it might be selfish....I have three children, healthy children. Some say, I haven't had the same fertility struggles as others. That may be true, but I feel like I have had struggles, different though, maybe.

I know that maybe it hasn't been long and I shouldn't rush things, but I just want Dave to tell me that we can have another baby.....that's all. I know that he needs time, and I don't want to have another baby to replace Zoe, but it is such hard thing to have children at the age of understanding of losing their little sister. I just wish that I could tell them without fail that they will have another sibling.

If you think I am be selfish, by all means, let me know.