I'm truly conflicted lately. I have alot of really good things going on in my life right now. Great things that are making me happy. But, everytime I feel that happiness come up I feel terrible that I am not a little more sad for Zoe. I miss her, I do...terribly. But, I am happy and wanting to be excited for all of the things that are coming.
Today I was doing well, we went to my brother's college graduation and there was the girl. You know the one that I have talked about before, she is pregnant and due just 4 days after I was with Zoe. Immediately I have sadness came over me. While there still are these wonderful things going on in my life, I have the confliction of being happy, but missing Zoe at the same time.
I don't know what is the right way to feel. I know that all these feelings are valid, I just wish it was a little easier to cope with and comprehend.
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((HUGS)) there isn't a right way to feel.
ReplyDeleteI know losing my mom is totally not the same, but it is grief none the less. There are times that I still miss her and will cry for her. There are times that I feel guilty remembering a funny story or moment and laughing. We are left behind to sort through all of this, not knowing really how to react. After my dads passing I went through this same thing, it took me a long time before I could laugh at the memories without guilt.
((HUGS)) It is okay to be happy, really rhink about it. Would you want someone to be unhappy after your death? I wouldn't. I would want them to go on with their life, I would want them to laugh at the memories. I would not want someone to live in a state of sadness.
(((((((((hugs)))))))))) I know those feelings are so hard. But like Kim said, it's okay to be happy when good things are going on in your life. Your angel knows that she is loved both when you are sad and when you are happy. Just because you are happy does NOT mean you do not love her. And it does NOT mean that you do not miss her. HUGS!
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