Just curious..
I have said in a previous blog that I wished I hadn't had the D&E. I have alot of regrets of that, I wish that I could have seen the baby even if only for a second.
But I have a friend whom I was telling this too, and I said I wished I hadn't done that. Her answer was that she was surprised that I had, being Catholic and all. I knew what she was saying, I wondered if I was wrong, and still do. Did I make a bad decision, will this forever haunt me? Today, I was reading on a pregnancy loss board and that thought came up again, a girl was saying that she didn't know what choice to make a D&C or a natural miscarriage. She was afraid to chose the D&C because she is Catholic and thinks of it as an abortion. I knew exactly what she was saying. When I was asked what I wanted to do, I thought of my living children. The thought of them seeing me deliver a baby at home would be more than traumatizing to a little child. But, I also thought of myself and could I cope with something like that. I don't know if you can ever make the right choice when you are in that position, it's impossible, you can never know the what ifs.
So, I wonder, is it an abortion? What are your thoughts? My baby lost her heartbeat previous to my 16 week u/s. I didn't choose for that to happen, I wouldn't have ever chose for that to happen. But, I'm curious since the medical field believes it to be and marks it as a "abortion" is that how the general public and the catholic church feels about it?
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NO!!! As a "medical field" person, I hate, hate, hate the terminology associated with this. To me a miscarriage is just that... a lost pregnancy. An abortion is a CHOICE to terminate a pregnancy. I wish that they could save many many women the heartache associated with the terminology involved and change how they word things.
ReplyDeleteI know that you have said that you regret choosing the D&E, and I hope that in the future you can come to peace with that. I had never had as late of a loss, so I went with the natural m/c's. I do think that if I had a late loss I would go with the D&E. I honestly don't think that I could emotionally handle "having" the baby when I know that she didn't make it.
I don't see it as an abortion, you didn't end your babies life. It was something medically needed for all the reasons you stated. You did what you felt was best and I highly doubt God will judge you for this. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely not!!! I wouldn't consider that an abortion, your precious Angel went to heaven before your D&E. Regardless of what the "professionals" call it, I don't see it that way. I'm not Catholic, but I know as a Christian, you didn't do any harm by doing it that way and God will not judge you for making the decision you felt was best for you and your family. I'm still praying for you Tracy. ((((hugs))))
ReplyDeleteI say no way. The medical term for miscarriage is "abortion," the D&C or D&E are just removal of the "aborted fetus." Yeah, it's nasty terminology, but that's what it is. I don't think the D&E was a poor choice on your part, and I don't think you did anything wrong. (((HUGS)))
ReplyDelete((HUGS)) Well I had my Angel natural, and even now the image of her body haunts me. I don't think there is a right or wrong. I think either choice will haunt you.
ReplyDeleteI also HATE the term abortion when we speak of miscarriage. They really need to change it.
goodness Tracy, God is so much bigger than our mere medical terminology. He is grieving along side of you...holding you as you weep.
ReplyDeleteDo you have a pastor/priest you are comfortable talking to about this concern.
hugs
Oh Tracy!!! HUGS dear friend!!!!! I'm not catholic, but I am Christian, and I in NO WAY think having a D&C or D&E is anything CLOSE to choosing to have an abortion and I HATE that the medical terms have anything to do with eachother! An elective abortion and D&C (D&E) are no where close to the same!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAs far as the right decision, I can imagine it's very hard to look back and wonder if you made the right or wrong decision. However, in a few things that have happened in my life that I wonder if I should have done things different, I tell myself this..."I made the best decision I could at that time and given the information I had". Maybe you would have done things different, maybe you wouldn't have. But with the conversations you had with your doctors and the feelings you had at the time, you did what was best, then.
As for the term, "abortion", well, it sucks! BIG TIME! Like I said above, I think there is a big difference in a D&C(E) and electively choosing to abort a baby that is thriving inside!