Emotional over load

This week we are here on vacation at Kalahari indoor water park. It is such a fun place, the kids absolutely love it. While they are going up and down the waterslides, I stand at the bottom and watch......this is when I have too much time to think.

Because this is a family park you see alot of expecting Mommy's and alot of brand new Mommy's sweet little babies. So, my mind goes to, , I should have had a sweet little girl in a carrier on my chest, or a big old belly, I should have had a two month old or be 26 weeks pregnant with twins on this trip! Yesterday when we were in the water there was a dark haired little girl going down the slide, her Mom called for her "Zoe, comehere!" Oh boy, Zoe. My eyes started to well up,but I contained myself as best I could. That really hit me hard, I don't hear the name Zoe often and I never realized it but it helps to not see children running around with that name......I know it might sound odd.

To add, my MIL is hear helping with the kids. Mostly to help with my nephews because there are two of them. I remember us sitting around last year after we found out we were expecting and saying "Wow, there will be alot of us next year. An eight yr old, a four yr old, a three yr old, three two yr olds and a brand new baby!" I said I am going to be tired but this is going to be fun. It's hard to remember those things.

So yesterday especially was a hard day, but today I am up with a clearer head and starting out with a smile.