wanting to explain.

There was recently some disagreements all due to my facebook status! Who knew that one opinion/vent would cause so much ruckus! So, because I have this problem where I like to please people, I feel the need to explain something.(I want to thank those of you that came to bat for me, and add that I LOVE my husband!)

I am an intelligent(enough) person, I do research upon research before making any final decisions. I am indecisive most of the time, so when I am making a huge, life altering decision, I think, think again, over analyze, and think a couple more times before coming to a final conclusion.

So, saying that, our decision to think about having another child has been thought about over and over. We have talked to several doctors, all who say that it is not dangerous to my health to continue to try to have another child. We have weighed the pros and cons. We know that another loss would be difficult for us to go through emotionally, and we know that there is a possibility that we will lose another. I know the heartache that goes along with it, while it isn't something that I want I can't say that that is going to stop me from fulfilling our hope and more importantly my children's hope for another child.

When we decided to have children, we decided that I would be with them at home. Since that has happened, my husband and my children have most definitely become my life. I enjoy being with them, they are truly everything to me, so I would never risk, their Mommy, my husband's wife, for a dream that could harm me.

When that day comes eventually where we are able to welcome another baby, seeing the look of joy and love on their faces will be the biggest payoff in the world and will make this all worth it. After all it is about them. That is when everyone will understand why I continue to go through this, the look on the precious little faces of my children and the beauty of a newborn baby!