2009 reflections

A look back at 2009, so many things happened. Not just for me, but for others. It seemed to me as though the year was kind of dumped upside down and couldn't figure out where to go from there. To say that I am glad that 2009 is over and I never want to look back wouldn't be right. Because through all of the sadness I experienced many blessings.

I found out that we were expecting a baby in February, we were so happy, elated. That is a day I will never forget, I will never forget my first appt, where I saw a beautiful heartbeat and cried with joy. Weekly appointments continued to bring wonderful news of a growing and beautiful baby. In April we found out with almost certainty that we were having another little girl, another day I will not forget. My Mom was there with me that day and cried at the fantastic ultrasound.

Sadie and Paige grew in school and did a wonderful job, by the end of the year Sadie was reading at a 5th grade level while she was just in 1st grade. Paige got over her fear of school and really started to love it, she was coming home and talking about friends that she had made. Xander grew in so many ways, he is such a smart and such a loving little boy.

May 16 was the day that we found out Zoe had passed away, such a terrible day, while the day is a blur, I remember every vivid detail as it replays constantly in my mind. Just two days later my Paige graduated from preschool, it was a great distraction and a great joy to watch her get her diploma. May 19th we lost Zoe and things were very scary with my health for weeks, I scared alot of people, but everything turned out well. Just days after that Paige turned 4 years old....a big girl now!

Xander continued to grow throughout the summer and amaze us with the things he learned. He knows his alphabet and can count to 13! Sadie had a great summer as well, her and Paige took swim lessons and got over a huge fear of the water, they learned how to jump off the diving board! They went from being afraid to put their feet in the water to jumping in the deep end.....pretty amazing if you ask me!

In August we found out that we were expecting another baby. We went in for our ultrasound and saw two sacs! How excited, but terrified we were. At an extensive ultrasound we got to see one of the beautiful heartbeats...again another day I will never forget. In September we were hit with sadness again as we found out that we would lose our babies and on my 30th birthday we did.

September the girls started school again, Sadie to second grade and Paige to her second year of preschool. Both loved it right away and made even more new friends. Sadie was now reading at a middle of the fifth grade level and is in the challenge reading and spelling groups. Her teacher fully expects her to be in honors classes beginning next year. Paige now recognizes all of her letters and numbers and can write many of them as well, including her first and last name. Xander can speak in full sentances, jump, run, peddle a bike and dances like I have never seen another little boy dance in my life!!

Looking back on 2009 I know that we had our losses, terrible losses that I will never forget. I will miss Zoe and her siblings every day for the rest of my life. I think of them everyday and wish it hadn't have been. The sadness that we have gone through this year has brought us closer together as a family, for that I am eternally grateful. I have done things that I am really proud of and helped people, that feels really good. I have amazing children and an equally amazing husband who have made this year ok.

So, instead of saying Good Riddens 2009, I will say Good Bye....there are dear memories that I will never forget. Welcome 2010 treat us all well!