Suicide and gossip

A friend of ours tried to commit suicide a couple of weeks ago, she had a husband and three small children. She jumped from a bridge that is relatively low and did not die. Instead she suffered for weeks, she had liver laseration and was bleeding internally. She was paralyzed and suffered. I can't imagine the pain that she was in before making this decision. I don't think this is a decision taken lightly by anyone. How could it be. Especially if you are a Mother and a Wife. She died a week ago.

She was a kind woman, one who always considered other people before herself, she always had a smile on her face and often asked if "I needed any help" And, her family loved her. That is really all I need to know. I don't need to know why she did it or why she was so sad. That part is over now, sadly though, people like to gossip. We live in a smaller town and this has been the story for everyone to talk about.

I brought my daughter to a birthday party yesterday and while I was there, I was attacked with gossip. The conversation began.

"did you hear about the woman....."

I reply "yes, I knew her"

"I can't believe what she did, how disgusting, selfish....."

I reply "Well, since I don't know how she was feeling at the moment that things happened, I can't speculate why she did what she did. I just know that she was a kind person, who loved her family"

"well, I don't get it, I mean"

I reply "I guess it really isn't for us to get, she has a family and they would be heartbroken if they knew people were saying these things about her"

This is where the conversation turned, I was shocked it turned this way and am still shocked.

"well, last year when I met you, you were distant and withdrawn, never really talked to anyone. I figured you were depressed, then I found out......what happened to you......and I got why you were that way. But, you, you didn't kill yourself, why didn't you, but she did. And, you don't want to judge her?"

I reply "no, I don't." I explained that I had a lot of support and worked through things, but I didn't have any depression before our losing Zoe and our twins. I was shocked she said those things and walked away after. And, I have to be completely honest, I'm fairly sure that the reason why I was withdrawn and didn't talk to her much was because I thought she was a Bitch. I was right, she is a Bitch, a judgmental Bitch.

I will not understand or try to find answers as to why this happened, all I know is that she must have been in a really bad place and I hope that know she has found peace. I also know that she has a family who is trying to pick themselves up and to have gossip like that floating around, it isn't helping anyone.